So you’ve been dating someone knew for a couple months and things are
getting pretty serious. You talk to each other almost every day and the
date on the weekend is all but assumed. You are certainly fond of this
person and hanging out with them is a great source of fun and happiness
for you. But is it love? If you can check off all eight items on this
list, you just might be head-over-heels.
1. They Are Your First Thought
When you emerge from the fog of a good night’s sleep and the world
begins to come into focus around you, your significant other pops into
your head. As you stare at yourself sleepily in the mirror while
brushing your teeth, you are already planning the next great date you
can take her on or wondering if he will like the outfit you put
together for the day.
2. You Tell Them Your Secrets
If you don’t feel embarrassed to share things you really ought to be
embarrassed about, you might be in love. There are some parts of your
life that don’t readily share with people unless you are comfortable
with them getting to know the real you. For example, if you’re hanging
out with your partner making dinner and, without flinching, you tell
them about the time you called your teacher mom, you might as well blurt
out the L-bomb right then and there.
3. You Are Fond of Their Imperfections
At least in the early stages of love you start to like everything
about the other person. Even the little things they do that would drive
you crazy if anyone else did them become strangely endearing. Maybe he
snorts when he laughs, maybe she eats her peas one at a time. If you
find yourself making doe eyes at behavior that you can objectively say
would normally give you a stress-headache, you are probably beyond
saving.
4. You Mentally Include Them in Your Long-Term Future
Another sure-fire way to tell you’re in love with someone is if they
start appearing in your long-term thoughts and plans. If you have always
wanted to move to the West Coast and suddenly then you imagine yourself
basking in the sunshine with your significant other, there is a pretty
good chance you might love them. If you have difficulty imagining your
future without them you can be even more sure of your feelings.
5. You Think They’re Special
We all think we are unique little snowflakes floating along on the
breeze of life, but we rarely feel that way about other people. In fact,
we so rarely think that other people are special that when we do it is a
pretty good indication that they are either a very close friend or we
are in love with them. Love blinds us to the cold rationality of
statistics and lets us feel like, against all odds, we have found our
one, true soul mate.
6. You Want to be With Them
When you’re in love you start to make allowances in terms of what you
feel is a normal amount of time to spend with someone. If you were
together all weekend, you went for lunch on Monday, and you are still
excited to plan dinner and a movie for Tuesday night, there is a good
chance you’re in love. In fact, scientists have even shown that people
in love demonstrate the same
obsessive behavior as drug or gambling addicts when it comes to the object of their romantic attachment.
7. You Want Your Friends to Like Them
If you are worried about what your friends and family will think of
the person you are dating it is probably because you are hoping to
integrate them into Thanksgiving Dinners and Game Nights for years to
come. Once your thoughts about someone else move outside of yourself and
start including how they will mesh with the other people in your life,
you can be reasonably sure you’re in a serious relationship.
8. You Want to Keep Them Around
Finally, and above all else you are in love with someone if you
continue loving them as your relationship matures. Most of the things
I’ve discussed already are stages that pass on the path of a long-term
relationship. New love is crazy and obsessive and irrational, but
eventually that all fades away and you begin to see the other person for
who they really are. If you have been together long enough to reclaim
your ability to think logically and you still want to keep them around,
you can be sure your love is the real thing.
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